Today....

...today I began to notice a bit of a change in the atmosphere at work. People went about their business at a much slower, more gentle pace and showed each other a little more kindness. Not that my work colleagues are unkind at all - but from the looks and glances around the room, and comments from people I don't normally speak to, I think we have begun to see a much more caring attitude evolve towards each other. Everyone is hurting. Even those who thought they would love to be made redundant and escape have been caught up in the surge of emotion at the moment. I spoke to someone yesterday who described it as a grieving process, and we should expect to experience a range of emotions over the coming months. A lot of us have "grown up" at work, having been there since we left school. Friendships and marriages have flourished, it's a bit like having an extended family at your fingertips, which is sadly slipping from our grasp. At least we have the luxury of up to 2 years to plan our futures, unlike some redundancies which are imposed almost immediately. I'd like to think a lot of us will manage to stay in touch for many years - this has been an incredible support network for so many people.

So now we know.............

The long awaited and much dreaded news has arrived. Our office is one of 5 offices - all of which are in the South-East - which will close in 2011. The news has hit us all like an out of control juggernaut. Although one can prepare for the worst, there is always an element of hope in the back of our minds that "it won't be us...". Except this time it was, and it feels like a bereavement in many ways. To lose what has essentially become an extension of one's family in such a manner leaves me feeling angry, confused, scared, emotional and quite uncertain of my future. It seems so harsh to close 5 offices in the same region, leaving the vast majority of people no option but to take redundancy. The nearest one is 100 miles away, and the chances of moving are pretty slim for most of us. So , to see the headlines today of the expressed "surprise" that we are still in recession amazes me. I feel so sorry for those members of staff have already moved once from a closed office, but even more for those who have young families and both parents work for the same office. Civil Servants have become as vulnerable as the private sector.

So, what next? Answers on a postcard please......

A new beginning?

Only 8 more days to go, until the biggest announcement our department has even had to make will be public knowledge. Years ago, a job in the Civil Service was described as "A job for life". The media often poked fun at us, with their caricatures of bowler hatted gents and supposed endless tea-making. Our department became an Agency many years ago, one that was self-financing and extremely efficient, making money for the Government. So, not such a drain on the tax-payer. It became a place that looked after it's staff well, and was a family-friendly environment. Most of the staff have worked there in excess of 10 years. I have worked in the department for 31 years! So it really feels like another family to me, despite my moans and groans from time to time. You see, the government want to make savings - and we are one of them. The conspiracy theories are rife at the moment - Chinese whispers have escalated into the hottest gossip in our office's history! All very unsettling. I lurch between "yeah great, redundancy might be a new opportunity" to "oh God, how on earth will we manage?" and "who on earth is going to employ me now?" After so long in one job, I cannot see what employer would want me. It's been over 20 years since I had an interview (for a promotion) - it is so scary. Maybe it's the kick up the backside I need to write. At the moment I am finding it impossible to get anything down (rants aside), I have a thick grey fug in my head instead of lots of beautiful words and ideas floating around. My brain is like the "pea-soupers" of the Smog age. I just need to know now. Hope the next week goes quickly!