Reflecting

Today presented itself with many reasons to reflect. The alarm clock shrilled out at 5.50am, with the news of the final hours of John Allen Muhammad, the US sniper who shot down 14 people in the Washington area in 2002, killing 10 of them. The report sent shivers down my spine, as details were given of his last hours, up to and including his death by lethal injection. This news was swiftly followed by more outrage about Gordon Brown's spelling mistakes in his heartfelt letter (in my opinion) to the mother of Jamie Janes. I feel for them - they have lost children in awful circumstances, and the pain for both of them will never go away. So my problems now seem insignificant by comparison, on a day where we also pay homage today to those who died in WW1 and remember all those who have fallen in the name of our country. War is not the answer, we should talk more, as Gordon did to Mrs Janes. Despite the "outrage" from the Sun (trash) newspaper, who is gauging it's own war against the government as it swiftly changes it's political allegiance to suit the country's mood - she now appears to have forgiven him. We should talk more, wage war less and be prepared to forgive. Life is too short.

Moving on

I heard a quote today, and typically of me I cannot remember it word for word. It goes along these lines - "Major changes in our lives rarely happen of our own choosing. It's how we respond to those changes that is important." Or something like that. These last few weeks our uncertain future has become more certain. I for one always think the worse will happen and then I am not disappointed! Redundancy has pulled the rug from under everyone's feet. Those who have been working here for 30 years or more are no more or less terrified of the future than those who haven't been here long. It's a shame that people think "oh it's alright for you, you'll get a decent payout" - well quite frankly I'd rather have a job, and actually no, it isn't alright for me. Money can't compensate for the feeling that I have about going for an interview after so long out of the loop (it will be 32 years by the time the chopper falls). I don't drive either. So my ability to get a job is going to be extremely limited, relying on public transport is not something I'd envisaged doing at my age. My OH will probably end up living out of a suitcase for the rest of his career, as he'll probably have to do a weekly commute to wherever his office is moved to. So much for quality of life. I am not asking for sympathy nor am I wallowing in self pity. Just a little understanding would be nice. Rant over. I AM going to be positive about this major life change. I accept that I can't change others. Just don't drag me down with you!